Pull Away
by sue-sylvester-shuffle
Summary: (AU after 4x20) "He came in here… pretending to be me… but he doesn't even know you. He could never understand everything we've gone through together… and he took advantage of it to try and get you into bed." • Mulder is jealous after walking in on Scully about to kiss Eddie Van Blundht. (SCULDER.)


Fox Mulder had never considered himself a very jealous person. That was, of course, until he met Dana Scully. When it came to her, Mulder was a tense knot of envy ready to unravel at any moment.

So it was no surprise that walking in on Scully about to be kissed by the shapeshifter, Eddie Van Blundht, had not been a pleasant experience for him. The image had been stuck in Mulder's mind ever since the previous evening, shadowing everything he did. Brushing his teeth, he thought of how Blundht would have felt Scully's warm breath on his face. Getting dressed, he pictured Scully's low-cut top and how the dim light would have spilled across her exposed collarbones. Trying to get to sleep at night, he wondered how far Scully would have gone with Blundht if he had not intervened. The jealousy was nearly unbearable.

 _I have to talk to her,_ he thought, after tossing and turning on his couch for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. _Or at least_ see _her._

And so, he found himself at her apartment at eleven o'clock, heart pinned to the sleeve of his baggy sweatshirt.

"Mulder?" Scully asked as she answered the door. "What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

"Funny how whenever I show up at your place, you think something has to be wrong," he remarked, grinning.

She leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. "Well, usually something is," she replied. "And have you looked at a clock recently? It's eleven at night."

Mulder laughed softly. "Fair enough," he said.

"So what are you doing here?"

"I just thought you might want some company," he told her.

Scully glanced around his back. "You don't have any wine this time, do you?" she asked.

Mulder chuckled. "That wasn't me, Scully. You know I'm too cheap to be a gentleman."

A wry smile spread across her face. "So it's the real you this time. Okay, come on in." She stepped aside to let him enter.

Mulder surveyed the apartment in front of him. When he looked down at the couch, the image of the shapeshifter about to kiss Scully popped back into his head. _Not again,_ he thought, grimacing.

Scully saw the expression on his face and followed his gaze. She sighed. "Mulder, is this going to be an issue?" she asked.

Instead of responding, Mulder went over to the couch and sat down, positioning himself exactly where Eddie Van Blundht had been sitting the night before. Scully crossed her arms again, frowning. "Mulder," she repeated.

"I just want you to know that I would never do that," Mulder blurted out. When she looked puzzled, he continued, "Get you drunk and try to take advantage of you, I mean. I know it wasn't me, but he _looked_ like me, and… just in case you were feeling uncomfortable because of it… I felt I had to say that."

The redheaded agent was silent for a moment. "Mulder, I know you would never try to take advantage of me," she replied finally. "You're a good person, and I know you respect me. Although I see now that Blundht used the wine to… lower my inhibitions… at the time, I just thought you were trying to get closer to me. Which, I have to say, I didn't mind."

"You don't think we're close, Scully?" Mulder asked, unable to keep the hurt from his voice. He considered Scully to be the most important person in his life. She kept him sane and drove him crazy all at the same time. And that, he figured, was love.

"Oh, of course I do," said Scully quickly. "I trust you with my life, and you know that. But sometimes... it seems like that's all we are. Life and death. On a more personal front… I suppose we could be closer. Which was what I thought you… _he_ … was doing."

 _She wants to be closer,_ thought Mulder. _On a more_ personal _front._ He wanted that, too. It was something he had wanted for years, almost since the day he met her. And here, the shapeshifter had almost done it in _just one evening._

"It just makes me sick," Mulder said. "He came in here… pretending to be me… but he doesn't even _know_ you. He could never understand everything we've gone through together… and he took advantage of it, of our history, to try and get you into bed." He shook his head, letting out a short huff of a sigh. "I just can't stop thinking about that."

Scully pursed her lips. "If you're looking for an apology, Mulder…" she began.

"No, no. Not from you."

"Because I _am_ sorry. I'm just as embarrassed about this as you are. Maybe even more so," Scully went on. "But I just want you to know that I… I don't expect anything of you now. Just because of what he was doing… what I thought _you_ wanted… I don't want this to change anything."

 _But I do,_ thought Mulder. "You said it yourself," he responded. "We _could_ be closer, on a more personal front. And… you weren't pulling away." He winced, remembering how close the shapeshifter's lips had been to Scully's. A familiar pang of jealousy prickled under his skin, and yet, the image also made hope bloom in Mulder's chest; _Scully had not pulled away._ She had thought that she was about to kiss _him,_ and _she had not pulled away._

It meant that Mulder had a chance.

Scully took a deep breath. "No, I wasn't," she agreed quietly.

Mulder watched her for a moment. His heart was pounding. "And… if I kissed you now… would you pull away?" he asked.

Her eyes were trained on his lips. "No, I wouldn't," she whispered, after a long pause.

Mulder placed a hand on the back of her neck. The motion was slow, gentle, and unsure; he was entering new territory, and it was more of a minefield than anything else he had ventured into before. But Scully was still, complacent, wanting. They'd been through so much together, and Mulder couldn't think of anyone he would rather be touching. He leaned in, closing his eyes as the space between them faded away.

All of a sudden, he felt something warm and wet above his upper lip. Scully jerked backward, slapping a hand across her nose and mouth. Before Mulder could even comprehend what had just happened, she was on her feet and rushing toward the bathroom.

"Scully?" Mulder said, but she didn't look back. Gingerly, he raised a finger to the moisture on his upper lip; it came back smeared with red. His stomach fell away from him so fast that it made him dizzy. All of the heat, the longing, the closeness, the _love_ he had just been consumed by was draining away.

Slowly, Mulder wiped his face with the edge of his sleeve. The blood was a stark contrast against the light grey of his sweatshirt. It was a sick reminder that no matter how much he loved Scully, she was still slowly dying of cancer, and there was nothing he could do about it.

"Scully," he called again.

"Just go, Mulder," she called back. "Please."

Mulder got up off of the couch and headed toward the bathroom. Scully had closed the door, but not locked it. Inside, she was hunched over the sink, pressing a wad of toilet paper to her nose. When she saw him, she screwed her eyes shut, turning away. "Mulder, please, _please_ just go away," she begged him, voice strangled with emotion.

"Scully, I'm not leaving you," he replied, putting a tentative hand on her back. His partner looked back at him, lowering the toilet paper. The bleeding had stopped, but now there were tears swimming in her eyes. As she held his gaze, her lower lip began to quiver. Mulder pulled her toward him, folding her into his arms like a child. She buried her face in his chest, clutching at the front of his sweatshirt like it was the only thing keeping her alive. _Maybe it was._

"Mulder, I'm so scared," Scully managed before dissolving into sobs. She sounded so fragile that Mulder was afraid she would shatter if he held her too tight. But he did anyway. Tears formed in his own eyes, and he let them fall, too occupied with holding her to try and wipe them away.

They stood there for what felt like a lifetime. Finally, Scully fumbled a hand across her eyes and stepped back. "Thank you," she breathed.

"Scully, you don't have to do this alone," said Mulder. "I'm here for you. I always have been, and I always will be. We've been through hell and back together. Don't push me away now."

She shook her head, avoiding his eyes. Mulder put his hands on her shoulders. "Scully, I…" He took a slow, deep breath. "I… I lov-"

"Mulder, please don't do this," she whispered.

"Do what?"

"What you're doing," she responded. "I don't want to break your heart. And I don't want to break mine, either. I don't want to start something that I can never finish."

Her words pierced Mulder like knives. He paused for a moment to compose himself before nodding. "All right," he said finally. His chest was aching. "I'm sorry, Scully. I… I should go."

He turned around before the look in her eyes could make him change his mind. However, he'd only taken a few steps when Scully said, all of a sudden, "Mulder, wait."

Mulder couldn't quite pin down her tone. He turned around to find Scully right behind him. She reached up, gripped the sides of his face with both hands, and shoved her lips against his. It was not the gentle, warm kiss Mulder had always fantasized about. It was hard, fierce, and packed with emotion; the kiss of someone who was dying. Mulder felt as if his body was not working together as one; his heart was beating ever faster, but with every kiss, his stomach dropped ever lower.

It wasn't right.

He leaned back, tearing himself away from her. "Scully, stop," he panted, holding her shoulders firmly. "This isn't what you want. Or at least, this isn't how you wanted it."

"Mulder, please," she hissed.

" _Scully_ ," he repeated.

She held his gaze for a few seconds, and then turned away, frowning. "It's not fair," she mumbled finally. "Mulder, we've been partners for years now, and I've loved you for a lot of them. But now… I'm running out of time." She looked down, folding her arms around herself. "I guess I should have said something sooner."

"Me too," Mulder replied.

They were silent for a long moment, speaking only in the language of their heavy breathing. Then, finally, Mulder said, "I'll still love you, you know. No matter what happens."

"I would never ask that of you," she responded quietly.

He ignored her comment and continued. "And if you beat this, Scully… _Dana_ … I'll still be here. I'll still love you. In fact…" The words were spilling out before he could think them through. They were the words of someone who was desperately, irrevocably in love with someone who was dying. "If you can get through this, I swear on my life, I will drop down on one knee and propose to you on the spot."

Scully pursed her lips, a telltale crease appearing under her chin. "You really think I can beat this?" she asked waveringly.

"Of course," he told her. "In fact, I'm going to go out and buy a ring. Right now."

"Tomorrow," Scully whispered.

"What?"

"Do it tomorrow," she repeated. "Stay here tonight. Please."

Mulder nodded. "Okay," he said. And with that, he drew Scully into his arms again. She melted into him, resting her forehead on his chest. He could hear her tremulous breathing.

She sounded tired.

* * *

"I've gone into remission, Mulder."

His body reacted before his mind could even fathom her words. He laughed, once, a relieved, incredulous sound. Tears sprang to his eyes, the first time he'd cried out of anything but grief and desolation for a long time. Finally, it clicked; _she was in remission._

She was going to be okay.

He rushed over and pulled Scully into a tight hug. She made a little noise of surprise, but after a few moments, she wrapped her arms around him.

"You're okay," whispered Mulder against her hair.

"I know, Mulder," she replied.

He gave her one more squeeze and then stepped back. Ever since Mulder had bought his engagement ring, he had been practicing exactly how he would propose to her. But ever since she had taken a turn for the worse, he'd been too preoccupied with the idea of life without Scully to even think about spending the rest of it _with_ her. Now that she was in remission, he could dare to think ahead again.

Slowly, Mulder lowered himself onto one knee beside her hospital bed. Scully watched him go down, a look of confusion taking over her face. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Dropping down on one knee. Just like I promised," he told her.

The redheaded agent laughed incredulously. "Mulder, you weren't serious about that," she said. And then, with a tinge of uncertainty, "Were you?"

"Of course I was," Mulder responded. He reached into his pocket, pulled out the ring he'd bought, and held it out to her. The ring was rather simple; there was no huge jewel, or lavish design to it. It was thin and gold, with a shiny shard of diamond, and an inscription on the back.

"' _I will always trust you',_ " Scully read, squinting at the tiny print. Tears welled up in her eyes as she ran her thumb across the words. "Oh, Mulder."

"It was either that or ' _Our love is out of this world_ '," he joked. She laughed, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

"So what do you say?" he asked. "Dana Katherine Scully, will you do me the immense and honestly quite impossible honour of marrying me?"

Scully beamed. There were deep shadows under her eyes from days of chemotherapy and insomnia, but to him, she had never looked more beautiful. "Yes," she whispered.

A grin spread across Mulder's face as all the pain he had been holding inside exploded, all at once, into fireworks. He took the ring back from her and slid it onto her finger. Then, he stood up off of the ground and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft, gentle, and loving; the kiss he had always known that he and Scully would share. _This_ was how it was supposed to happen.

Just then, a familiar, female voice from behind Mulder said, "Dana, I got you some tea from the- _oh._ "

Scully pulled away, eyes wide. Mulder turned around to see Scully's mother, Maggie, standing by the door. She looked shocked.

"H-Hi, Mom," Scully stammered.

Maggie looked from her daughter to Mulder and back again. "I, er… I didn't mean to intrude," she said.

"It's all right, Mom," Scully replied. She raised her hand, pointing at the ring. "Mulder and I… we're getting married."

"Surprise," Mulder added, laughing.

Maggie's jaw dropped. "Oh, honey!" she exclaimed. "Congratulations!" She dropped the disposable cup of tea on a nearby table and raced over to Scully's bedside. Scully reached up to hug her mother. Once Maggie pulled away from her daughter, she turned to Mulder. "And congratulations to you too, Fox!" She hugged him as well. Mulder grinned; Scully's mother had always made him feel more loved than his own mother ever had. _Maybe it's just something about Scully women,_ he reasoned. All the ones he had met were lovely.

"I have to say, Dana," began Maggie. "I… I didn't know you two were even… you know. Together."

Scully looked at Mulder and laughed. "I think in a way, we always have been," she said.

Mulder sat down on the bed beside Scully, draping an arm over her shoulders. She rested her head on top, beaming up at him. He planted a kiss on her forehead, over top of where the tumour that had threatened to take her from him would be. Now, there was nothing in the world that could separate them. He loved her, and she loved him. That was all he needed.

end


End file.
